Fear Release: Step 1 – Worry List

As identified by Dr. Grantly Dick-Read, MD, breaking the Fear-Tension-Pain Syndrome is an important part of preparing for a calm birthing experience.  Thinking about your fears related to birthing and being a parent isn’t necessarily high on anyone’s list of things to do.  But if you don’t do it now, chances are that you’ll spend even more time worrying about these things day-to-day throughout your pregnancy.  Plus, if you’re not doing anything to handle these fears, they may just continue to grow.

Sometimes when we get to the Emotion Release Worksheet exercise, we find that moms in our class either haven’t done this homework or they have done it in their heads.  I hate to say it, because I don’t like to overly complicate things, but it’s just not the same thing to think about your fears and to actually write them down.  I want you to be very clear about what you’re worried about, because until you’ve clearly defined a problem, you can’t work on fixing it.  We’re not writing these fears down, just to write them down, this is just the first part of the process.  In class, on your bonus Birthing Zone CD and in this blog you’ll get tools to help you resolve these fears. 

Now, if I just ask you to write down all of your fears about birthing and parenting, nothing in particular may come to mind right away.  That’s not unusual.  The following questions are designed to get you thinking about typical fear topics for pregnant moms and their partners.  We call this your Worry List.  Feel free to expand this list if necessary.

• How do you feel about being pregnant?  Is this a happy experience or do you see it as just something you have to do in order to have a baby?
• How do you feel about giving birth?  Do you have any fears about the birthing process?
• What was your mother’s experience of pregnancy and giving birth?  Do you believe your experience will be similar to hers?
• What are your beliefs about parenting and life after having a baby?  Are these beliefs in sync with your partner’s beliefs?
• Do you believe in your and your partner’s ability to be effective parents?
• Do you have room in your life for a child?  Are you willing to make the social, career, and financial changes that might be necessary to care for your child and ensure that your child gets enough time with you?
• Do you and your partner agree about how you want to raise your child?  Are your parenting philosophies on things like values and discipline complementary?
• Do you have the financial means to provide for a child?

You can use your answers here to help you fill out the Emotion Release Worksheet.  You can also substitute your Worry List for the Emotion Release Worksheet.  Use whichever format works best for you.  You may find benefit in completing both the Emotion Release Worksheet and the Worry List.  For the next step in the Fear Release process, see post, Fear Release: Step 2 – Conscious Fear Release.